


Faith

by DrCHolmesLecter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bullying, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, God - Freeform, Human, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Male Homosexuality, OTP Feels, Suicide, Supernatural Elements, angel - Freeform, faith - Freeform, highschoolAU, normal lives, prayers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-29 21:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrCHolmesLecter/pseuds/DrCHolmesLecter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let me tell you my story.<br/>Let me tell you everything.<br/>-Castiel</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faith

_Let me tell you my story. Let me tell you everything._

 

 

I was an outcast. I was lonely but I was never really alone. I had friends, friends I could act stupid with but they never really lasted and then I'm back to square one.

But then I met him. A couple of blocks away from the school in that alleyway, all beaten up. That's where I met him and my life didn't seem so bad after all. He's given up so much just so he could raise his brother properly and he loved every decision he's made, regretted none of it. Since then, I've been seeing him every morning when he drops his younger brother to school, Sam Winchester. The school's anti social kid who seemed too mature for his age. Dean was different, he seemed reckless, knew how to fight and enjoyed going to bars and stripper clubs. I didn't enjoy it.

Obviously.

So I told him, I thought I was never going to see him again after that but he was a good guy. He still smiled and greeted me whenever I saw him but we never went out anymore. No more bars, stripper clubs or even coffee. I started avoiding him at that moment, the moment I was soiling my memories of him. My fantasies. My want for the guy. I probably couldn't even face him without getting a boner. Dean's green eyes, his lips and those freckles, I wanted to possess him entirely and it scared me so I ran away.

Things went down the drain after that, the bullying escalated and soon even Sam got involved, he deserved none of it but he had promised. Promised Dean that he'll protect me but it was too much. It was better when I was alone, I didn't feel guilty for getting others involved because I learnt that being alone was what protected me. When did I forget that? Was it when Dean called me an angel? But he didn't even believe in religion, he said he'd seen far too much to know that the existence of God was not real. It pained me to see him like that, I think he's lost far too many people to believe in you. I wanted to be an angel, his angel but I was a sinner. If only he knew.

I kissed him that day, the day when I didn't want to go to the hospital or go home to get my wounds treated. I was scared, scared of what my parents would say, they didn't deserve this neither did Sam and especially not Dean. But I couldn't let go, so I kissed him and he kissed me back...with need and desperation. He smiled at me you know, a full smile, his eyes twinkled with delight as he whispered, 'I've been wanting to do that for ages'.

I don't know when I started to loose sight of it all or when I started to forget about the happiness he brought into my life. It all seemed strange, fuzzy like an endless fantasy but it was nice. I can still see his face, the emptiness in those green eyes. I desperately wanted to call out to him, to apologise, to say how much I love him but I couldn't, I physically couldn't do it. I don't know why I did it, Dean was always there for me so was Sam and my parents. They loved no they still love me, I can feel it but when I decided to tie that rope around my neck and jumped I felt like an empty vessel.

I just...I just want to talk to him, tell him I'm okay that you're real. That _you_ do care because despite people saying that I'll burn in hell for liking men, _you_ gave me a chance. You brought me here. I want him to believe that God-that you do exist and tell him that there's no shame in believing but it all seems futile now right?

_Why would you say that?_

Because...I just added another reason to why he doesn't believe in you. I want to-

_Then answer his prayers. It doesn't matter that he doesn't believe in me but don't ever make him loose faith in you._

 

 

*

 

The man in front of me looked so broken, so lost. I zapped us out of the alleyway and into the nearest motel.

"Why won't you answer me" he says in a whisper between his sobs.

I didn't want to see him like this, his smile wasn't there anymore. Tears replaced them and I didn't like it so I simply kissed them away. All the things I wanted to say was forgotten at that moment. The apologies and the 'I love you's', they didn't seem to matter because deep down I-we knew.

"Don't leave me...Cas" the man pleaded before he drifted off to sleep.

"Never" was all I could say as I fell asleep beside him, our fingers intertwined.

**Author's Note:**

> First ever Destiel fic! What did you guys think? I wrote this after I read this suicide post on tumblr and if you guys ever need someone to talk then I'm all ears.


End file.
